Adopting Sasha - The Journey 2009

My Conversation with Nathan

Like I have said in the past, this blog is mainly for me to read when I'm old and my memory is gone (like next week).

Nathan has to bring home a behavior grade everyday from his teacher.  On a scale of 1-10, I expect him to get an 8, 9 or 10 to avoid trouble at home.  The past few days have not been so good.  It's not that he repeats the same things, but he finds a new way to get in trouble each day.  For instance, last week he got a 3 for "relieving himself at recess behind one of the trailers"...said he didn't know better, ha! Then he got a 6 one day for leaving class early and then on Friday he got a 4 for just mischief the whole day.

Yesterday he brought a letter home that had to be signed by his parents stating that he had been throwing ketchup and mustard packets at pre-schoolers in the lunch room.  Of course, he said 2 other boys made him do it. So he is on restriction from playing outside for 2 days and had to write 50 sentences, "I will follow the rules.".

So, this morning I had a conversation with him...we weren't screaming but we were talking in pretty loud voices.  This is how it went:

Me: Nathan, you need to get up every morning and pray.  You need to say, "Lord, I cannot do this on my own and I need you to give me self control and help me to be obedient".

Nathan: I can't do that!

Me: You better do it, You need Jesus in your heart!!

Nathan: I already have IT!

So then I started quoting him verses about self control and he's says "ok,ok,ok".

A little while later we are riding to school and he says, "so you want me to stay away from those boys?" and I said "if you have friends that are getting you in trouble, you better find some new friends" and then I said "you need to just stop and think before you do something...would Jesus do that?" and he says, "why all the time Jesus, Jesus, Jesus?" and I said because you are a child of God and he sent his son Jesus to save you from your sins" and he said "no, I'm your son". :0

So long story short, we have a ways to go!  I'm sure this blog will have a "Part 2".

To be continued.... ;)

Angie

I'm so glad He didn't!

This morning I was reading Luke on the back porch.  Enjoying this gorgeous weather and some quiet time by myself.  As I read Chapter 22 verse 42 "Father, remove this cup from me. But please, not what I want. What do you want? (msg) I was reminded of a night last summer 09 when we were in the process of adopting and Nathan was with us for the summer hosting program....I could not sleep after a rough day of bad behavior.  I was laying on the sofa in the pitch dark in a deep conversation with God and this verse was my prayer.

This morning as I read that verse I just cried and thanked God that he did not take the cup of adoption from me.  I cannot imagine the joy I would have been robbed of or the relationship that has grown between God and I as I have had to learn to be even more dependent on Him.

The last six and a half months have been awesome and changed my family so much for the better!  I cannot imagine life any other way.

~Angie

Today is my son's birthday!

Nathan has been home for 94 days today! On one hand it seems like yesterday and on the other hand it seems like forever.  Looking back over the last 3 months I am amazed at all we have accomplished.....lots of doctors appointments, tutoring with Nadya, 16 days in Scottish Rite hospital, 1 week at the beach, a soccer season and two and a half weeks of school.

The changes that I have seen in Nathan over this short period of time have been incredible and so much better than I had ever imagined.  Of course, there have been some pretty bad moments.....fits that lasted 3 to 4 hours.....but the good has so out weighed the bad and the amount of joy that I have experienced in this short time has been worth it all.

His english has just exploded!  I cannot remember the last time I had to say a word in russian.  In fact, after the first 3 weeks he was speaking so much english it was mind blowing.  I am having to make alot of effort to keep him socialized in russian culture so he will not forget his native language. About 2 weeks ago we were calling the orphanage to speak to his friends and he forgot to speak russian...haha, he said "hello, this is Nathan"...they were like "what"?

He started school on Monday, May 10th.  I was so nervous about it, but he has done a great job...the teacher sends home a grade on a scale from 1-10 everyday. Since the first day he has gotten 10,4,9,10,9,7,10,9,10,10,10. After the day he got the 4 we had a long talk with the online translator and he "got it", as you can see.  He really loves school and he gets up and does his breathing treaments and we get out the door on time everyday.  I'm so glad that he got this short period of time in before the year ended to see what it is all about so next year he will be ready to go ahead full steam :)

Well today is his 11th birthday!!!  He has been so excited.  We had his party on Saturday and then he shared cupcakes with his class today. It is so fun to see so much happiness in his life.  He is so full of joy and seems to really love his new life. 

As I wrap up this blog and this day, I am feeling a little heavy hearted.  One of the most special things to me about celebrating Allison's birthdays has always been remembering the day she was born and how much love I felt for her the moment I saw her....and then all of the joy I felt as she grew up.  I think about all of those special moments when I cuddled her and kissed her and watched her sleep. It makes me cry to think about sweet Nathan as a little baby and how a mother could abandon their infant....I sit here and wonder if she even knows it's his birthday today, or wonders where he is or if he is even still alive. But as I watch him through the window playing in the backyard I thank God that he is now mine!  And as I watch the happiness in his heart and life I know that he is so strong because God has protected him and filled him with His love and it is reflected in his sweet little face.  It is hard for my little mind to even comprehend how someone can be filled with so much happiness when I think about all that he has endured in his life, but it is such a picture of Jesus to see.

I look forward to many many more birthdays with my son!

Fairy Tale

Yesterday we drove down to Lake Oconee to meet with another family that just recently adopted one of Nathan's friends, Stepan. It was a cold afternoon but the boys never noticed. They were on the dock all day fishing and I don't even think they were using any bait.  You could hear their little voices chattering away in the their native language, getting caught up and sharing their American stories.

 

What a sweet story of two little orphans from Russia who were adopted by families only 2 hours apart. Imagine the bond these kids will have as they grow up together in America.

 

 

This is Stepan...he was adopted 4 mos ago from the same orphanage and the boys got to go fishing together today....so sweet.....what a fairy tale to get to leave the orphange and still be friends in America.

 

Team Nathan

Help "Team Nathan" Cure Cystic Fibrosis, May 15th @ GA Tech

 

I am taking steps to cure cystic fibrosis by participating in GREAT STRIDES, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's largest national fundraising program.
The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is the primary sponsor of critical research that is making tremendous advances toward a cure and control for CF.

Will you help me raise much-needed funds and increase awareness of our efforts to cure cystic fibrosis? My goal is $1500.00 Every dollar counts.....consider $1, $5, $10 or any amount!

Please consider joining my GREAT STRIDES walk or making a tax-deductible donation today.

Feel free to forward this message to anyone who may be willing to support GREAT STRIDES.

Thank you!

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/angieoshields

 

COME OUT AND WALK WITH US!!

First Clinic Appointment

Nathan had his first clinic appointment yesterday, March 2nd.  The appointment lasted about 3 hours and we saw lots of different people. I was thoroughly pleased with the whole visit.  We saw an endocrinologist, nutritionist, social worker, respiratory specialist, pulmonologist and clinic director. 

The clinic provided a great russian interpreter and Nathan was very comfortable with her and was totally cooperative with everyone.

The next step in the medical realm is a two week visit to the hospital.  In CF world they call this visit a "tune-up".  They will complete alot of diagnostic tests and find Nathan's baseline.  Nathan was able to ask the doctors questions about this visit and I was quite impressed at his calmness about the upcoming procedures.

The highlight of this clinic visit was when the social worker came in to interview us and she asked Nathan what was his favorite thing so far about living in America.  He thought for a second and then said, "Having a family".....wow! a kleenex moment for sure.

Pray for Nathan on March 16th as he is admitted to the hospital.

 

This is Dr Julius.  Nathan loves him!  He is an awesome guy...what a blessing to have found him.

Sometimes I laugh, Sometimes I Cry

Well our first week as a new family is complete.  We have all had a good week besides one little meltdown last Sunday. Nathan has given me many reasons to laugh and cry this week and I wanted to share them with you.  I am keeping a notebook close by to journal all of this so I can share it with him when he is older. Enjoy!!

On Monday Nathan had his first tutoring session with Nadya.  Nadya is a sweet lady that has become our friend after meeting her family while Nathan was here on the hosting trip, Christmas 2008. Nadya was a high school teacher in Russia and now homeschools her own children.  Before we left to go to Nadya's on Monday, Nathan got three of his own gifts to take and give to Nadya's three children.  He put each in a gift bag with tissue paper and was so excited to give them the surprises. This blessed my heart so much, but also amazed me that a child who has lived in an orphanage his entire life with absolutely nothing would be so willing to give to others. WOW! Good lesson for all of us.

Nathan knows that Allison has a birthday soon and everyday he has asked me how many more days.  While we were at Walgreens this week he wanted to look around.  In the Easter section he found a pink pen with a fussy top on it and he said to me, "Allison's birthday?". I think he's more excited than Allison is.

 

(of course, I drew the pic but he did all of the coloring and the hearts with arrows)

One afternoon after we picked Allison up from school we went to Dick's Sporting Goods.  While we were exploring the baseball section, Nathan discovered an object and asked me, as he held it over his face "What this?" You can imagine my explanation that an athletic cup is not a face mask.  Needless to say, Allison was humiliated at my actions....how else was I suppose to explain it to someone who knows very little english.  Oh, where was Dad at this moment?

Friday, we had to take Nathan to the hospital for a sweat test to diagnose CF.  He was suppose to drink plenty of fluids that morning and since we would have about an hour drive on the interstate I thought I better be prepared.  I gave Nathan a bottle to use in the car in case he had to 'go'. Boys are kinda weird, because he was using it in the house instead of going to the bathroom....he was so proud to show it to me sitting on the KITCHEN COUNTER!!!!  Yuck!

Kevin and Nathan went to grab some dinner and while they were driving Kevin had Nathan call Aunt Betty. Nathan was trying to explain to Aunt Betty that his name is Nathan now, not Sasha. Aunt Betty could not understand him and he kept repeating himself.  Finally, Kevin said to Nathan, "She's deaf and She's old". So thinking that was what Papa wanted him to say, he says into the phone "SHE'S DEAF AND SHE'S OLD"  He had no idea what he was saying, he was just repeating Papa.  He's trying so hard to learn english and he's like a little parrot.  Better watch what you say:)

Last night as we were all snuggling in the bed, I said "oh we need to maleetza(pray)".  Nathan said "Mama, Papa No maleetza....Nathan maleetza".  He got up between us on his knees and held both of our hands and said in total english, "Dear God, Thank you for food, Mama, Allison, Nathan and Papa, Amen". Talk about a special moment.  God is so good and so real!!! Then I said, "Esus loves Nathan" and Nathan said, "Nathan loves Esus". (Esus, Jesus in Russian)

Now tell me whose life has changed the most.  We thought we were changing the life for an orphan, but little did we know how much he would change ours!!!

Over Stimulated

We had a beautiful day yesterday.  Played outside til dark.  Had a few visitors....Heather, Alana, Nevaeh and Pax came by and played a while. Mimi and Poppy and Uncle Greg stopped by with a few gifts.  Later a sweet family came over and brought us dinner and Nathan got to meet their two boys, Garrison and Edwin.  The boys played so well together and I am so excited for Nathan to make some friends so he won't miss the orphanage.

Nathan ended the day worn out and went to bed very early which made for an early rise this morning.

We went to church and it went pretty good, but definitely way too much stimulation!!! We made a poor decision to go grab a bite to eat and that's when the meltdown started.  He refused to eat, continuously kicked the seat until we interrupted the family's lunch behind us and had to remove him from the restaurant against his will....bad scene...pretty violent with me. Luckily he's only about 50 lbs and I out-weigh him quite a bit.  Made it home and again had to use force to bring him in the house.  All the time he's screaming Russian explicits at me. He eventually calmed down after I held him firmly but he is at the moment, by his own demands, no longer Nathan Alexsandr O'Shields..he is back to being Sasha Abramtsev and wants to go to the airport and back to the orphanage.  I have had to leave the room and let him sulk...I'm sure he will change his mind after he has had some time to think about it.

Needless to say, I am emotionally worn out.  I am not so naive to think this would not happen or won't happen again, but everytime it does it just ruins my nerves to the point of tears.  He is still worth it and I would never send him back.

I still need your prayers...probalby more now than before. Please pray that I will say and do all of the right things in regards to discipline.  Pray for me to make wise decisions as to not get to this point again...at least not too many more times:)

Okay, so now before I have even finished this blog he has come downstairs with tears in his eyes and has told me "No Sasha Russia, Nathan America Forever". Hopefully this episode will be a major milestone in the adjustment process!

With tears in his eyes and hoarsness in his voice he said "Mama, I love you very much"...hard to stay mad after that.  He even told Allison that he is sorry and he loves her too....so maybe we will go to "Valmart" afterall.  I think he is remorseful and doesn't want to go there again anytime soon....Lord, I pray!

Mama and Baby are doing well

They made it home!!  What a joyous occasion....all flights were on time and no lost luggage. 

Thank you to everyone for all of the sweet wishes and to the few that made it to the airport for the arrival. 

Everyone slept good...just not long enough....6:45am "Mama, Papa, Nathan hungry"

Busy morning already.   Breakfast, bath, bank, pharmacy, breathing treatment..........vacation is over!

A New Life Begins Today

It's 10:18 on Friday, February 19th, 2010. I'm looking around the house thinking, "Wow, this is all about to be different."

Kevin and Nathan Alexsandr arrive tonight at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport at 6:51pm.  I am so excited to see the expression on my new sons face when we make eye contact!  I hope he is going to be as excited as I am!

This has been an incredibly long 13 months for me.  I have cried, laughed, screamed and even questioned along the way. But every time I questioned, my God was quick to confirm that there is NO question....this child is my son. 

So as I sit here and type through the tears I know that regardless of what is next that God is already there with his hand out to me saying "Come on, it's going to be OK"....see I'm already here and I will hold your hand and your heart, don't be scared". But I am scared in my joy and happiness...I'm scared that my daughter will pull away from me becasue she thinks I don't love her, I'm scared that Nathan will be homesick and defiant, I'm scared that the health expenses will be more than we can handle, I'm scared Kevin's company will find a way to let him go because our insurance claims are costing them too much and on and on it goes.

But I am going to put ALL of that aside and soak in all of the memories that this day is going to make!  I am anxious for this to be the beginning of something great for our whole family.  I am letting this day mark the start of some new routines that we have been putting off as a family that I know are important and will help our new family of 4 bond together.

I will gladly accept any prayers that you want to offer as we move through the day and prepare for the homecoming of the new life that begins today.

8 more hours!!!!